“Toxic” is the geopop series that gives voice to those who have lived firsthand the abuse of substances. In this episode, Maurizio, 45 years old, Roman who lives in Milan, retraces twenty years of dependence and the journey towards rebirth. Its history focuses what often hides under the “tip of the iceberg” of drugs: fragility, insecurity and a deep sense of inadequacy.
Maurizio started using substances at 13, during a transfer from Rome to Milan. The first rod was not curiosity, but a way to feel accepted and hide the fear of not being up to par. From there, the use of cannabis soon turned into cocaine and party Drugs.
With high school and then in the world of work, cocaine became central. The initial euphoria no longer returned, but consumption increased to avoid discomfort and insecurity. Maurizio came to take money in the family and in the premises where he worked, keeping a clean image outside that masked a deep personal collapse.
The breaking point came when, after subtracting money from a place, he closed himself in a hotel and sent his father a message with a suicidal tone. He spent all the money in drugs, chose to rekindle the phone: on the other hand he found affection and support. Shortly afterwards he entered San Patrignano.
In the community he had to stop pretending and facing his own fragility. The comparison with other former drug addicts helped him accept himself, to experience emotions without anesthetizing them and dismantling the fear of not being up to par. After four years, he learned to say and show himself for what he is.
Today Maurizio works together with his partner in the management of a center of child neuropsychiatry and deals with his small son. Finally he lives the normality he had always sought: a serene life, without roles to interpret, in which he can embrace himself and his passions.
If he could speak to the thirteen -year -old, he would tell him:
“Don’t be afraid to show you for what you are. You don’t need to pretend or interpret roles that make you feel bad. Follow your passions without fear.”
His story shows that getting out of addiction is possible: the support of others, honesty with oneself and the courage to ask for help can really change life.
