The kiss is one of the most intimate and widespread gestures in the collective imagination, but beyond the borders of European culture, it is not universal at all: not all populations of the world practice it, and it does not always have the same meaning. In Western societies, it is a symbol of love, passion and closeness. It could derive from ancient feeding practices: prehistoric mothers passed chewed food to their children mouth to mouth, strengthening the emotional bond. Over time, in many cultures, kissing has evolved into a gesture of love and desire, also linked to neurochemical reactions of pleasure and attachment. Today it is depicted in art, celebrated in literature and enacted in cinema as the pinnacle of romanticism.
A cultural question or not: why do we kiss and since when?
Anthropological studies and ethnographic research show that approximately half of known cultures currently do not practice romantic kissing. In some indigenous communities in Africa, the Amazon and Papa New Guinea, kissing is not part of courtship rituals or couple life. For many populations, the idea of joining the lips is even perceived as a strange or unattractive practice. In these societies, intimacy is expressed in other ways: through physical contact, exchanging glances, caring for others or sharing food. The absence of the kiss therefore does not imply a lower degree of affection, but a different way of conceiving and communicating emotions.
Scientists have long debated whether kissing has biological roots or is a cultural invention. Some hypothesize that it derives from ancient feeding practices: prehistoric mothers would have chewed food and then passed it mouth to mouth to their young children, a gesture that strengthened the emotional bond. Other scholars instead underline how kissing activates neurochemical mechanisms that increase desire and attachment: during a kiss, in fact, the brain releases oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, hormones linked to pleasure and empathy.
These physiological effects could explain why kissing has become entrenched in many cultures, but they are not enough to make it universal. Its presence or absence depends on social, symbolic and cultural factors.
The meaning of the kiss and other gestures of affection
Kissing is not a universal behavior: rather, it is one of many ways in which people build bonds, communicate affection and desire. Some experience it as an essential ritual of love, others replace it with other gestures of affection.
Anthropologists have collected examples that show how varied and creative ways of expressing affection can be. Among the Fore of Papa New Guinea, partners rub their nostrils together in a gesture that for them has the same intensity as kissing. In the Inuit tradition, however, there is the so-called kunik: not a kiss with the lips, but a delicate rubbing of the nose and upper part of the lip on that of the partner, often accompanied by warm breathing.
In some populations of tribal India, the exchange of love passes through smell: smelling your face or hair is considered more intimate than joining your lips.
Yet, it has been observed that even in the animal world there are behaviors similar to that of kissing: bonobo monkeys kiss on the mouth as a sign of reconciliation and affection, showing their resemblance to human beings.
Neurochemistry and anthropology of intimacy in dialogue
In recent years, neuroscience and biological anthropology have combined their studies and contributed to generating debate, analyzing in particular the role of the hormones involved in kissing.
Experimental studies have shown that during kissing, levels of oxyticin, often defined as the attachment hormone, increase, along with dopamine and serotonin, substances associated with pleasure, trust and mood regulation.
The anthropologist Floyd and colleagues (2015), while highlighting that the romantic kiss is not universal, underline how in the societies in which it is present it performs a function of strengthening the couple’s bond. Similarly, the scholar Helen Fisher, within the framework of the theory of romantic love as a neurobiological system, interprets kissing as one of the behaviors that activate the circuits of attachment and partner selection.
However, scholars remind us that these chemical mechanisms do not automatically determine cultural practice: biology provides a basis for bodily response, but culture shapes which gestures are coded as intimate, appropriate or desirable.
