The sensation of physical resistance, almost visceral, that we feel when we have to get rid of something is not an anomaly. It’s a deeply human dynamic that we share with our ancestors, with children, and even with some primate species. From birth we learn to distinguish what is “ours” from what is not. Research on children shows that at 22 months almost a quarter of conflicts between peers concern the possession of objects. As we grow up, the boundary between ourselves and our things becomes increasingly blurred, so much so that objects are no longer “just things”, but become true extensions of us.
Research in neuroscience, evolutionary and consumer psychology confirms that our possessions fill emotional needs: they console us, strengthen our confidence in our abilities and make us feel connected to those who are no longer here. The problem, therefore, is not to care about something, but to understand when that care turns into a limiting or, in the most serious cases, pathological constraint.
“We are what we own” and the endowment effect by psychologist Russel Belk
In the late 1980s, Professor Russell Belk published a study that has become a pillar of consumer psychology. His thesis was clear: our possessions are a fundamental reflection of our identity. In a precise and documentable sense, we are what we have. Objects are not separate from us, but an extension of the body and mind into the material world.
This perspective explains many daily dynamics. It explains why suffering a burglary at home is not only an economic damage, but a real psychological violation: victims report a reduction in the sense of privacy and pride in their own space, because the loss of objects is perceived as a loss of self. It also explains why it is so difficult for us to separate ourselves from the objects of those we loved, which act as a vital bridge with memories. And it explains, at least in part, why throwing something away “hurts”.
In behavioral economics, an experiment conducted by psychologists Daniel Kahneman, Jack Knetsch and Richard Thaler and published in 1991 in Journal of Economic Perspectiveshas become the case study of this phenomenon: a group of students are given a banal coffee mug and asked what price they would sell it for. A second group (without a cup) is asked how much they would pay for it. The result? Those who owned the cup were asking about double what buyers were willing to pay.
This phenomenon is theendowment effectrooted in loss aversion (loss aversion): the psychological discomfort we feel when giving something away is greater than the pleasure we feel when acquiring it. Our brain weighs losses more than acquisitions because, from an evolutionary perspective, losing something necessary could be fatal. However, a study conducted in Tanzania by the University of Pennsylvania – published in 2014 on theAmerican Economic Reviews – on the Hadza tribe (not connected to modern markets and with a highly egalitarian society) demonstrated that this effect does not exist. The difficulty in separating ourselves from things is therefore not an inevitable law of nature, but the cultural product of the way we have learned to live.
From full drawer to clinical disorder
It is essential to draw a clear dividing line. There’s a huge difference between a drawer full of cables that haven’t been used for years and the Hoarding disorder pathological (disposophobia or Hoarding Disorder).
At the benign extreme of continuum we’re all here: we struggle to throw away objects with sentimental value or things that “could come in handy”. It is normal and has a neurological explanation: the brain tries to avoid cognitive fatigue. Every time we ask ourselves “should I keep it or throw it away?” we face a micro-decision under uncertainty, which has a real cost in terms of mental energy. The brain, to protect itself, deviates towards the simplest path: closing the drawer.
At the clinical extreme, however, we find Hoarding Disorder. The difference lies not in the quantity of objects, but in the level of functional discomfort. We speak of a pathology when the accumulation prevents the normal use of domestic spaces (unusable kitchens, unreachable beds) and the difficulty in separating from things causes profound suffering that compromises daily, working and relational life.
The numbers and characteristics of Hoarding Disorder
According to the meta-analysis published in 2019 on Journal of Affective Disorderswhich summarized 11 studies for a total of over 53,000 participants, the prevalence of the disorder stands at around 2.5% of the population, around one person in forty. In Italy, statistically, this means over a million people. It is a disorder that is not rare, but highly underestimated and underdiagnosed.
Those who suffer from it face three enormous difficulties: inability to part with objects (regardless of their real value), excessive acquisition (buying or collecting more than necessary), disorder that makes spaces uninhabitable.
In the most severe cases, this leads to social isolation, conflicts, psychiatric comorbidities and physical risks (falls, fires, hygiene problems). The disorder is transversal between genders, but its prevalence increases with age.
Why we become serial hoarders: plot, attachment and scarcity
But why does this disorder arise? Clinical psychology identifies several intertwined roots:
- Childhood trauma: a study published in 2019 on Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disordersconducted on 463 adults, demonstrated that two specific types of childhood trauma (emotional abuse and physical neglect) predict higher levels of hoarding symptoms in adulthood.
- Attachment Style: those with an anxious attachment tend to use objects as “Linus’ blanket”.
- Scarcity (real or perceived): statistically, those who have less tend to accumulate more. But the memory of deprivation also counts: those who grew up in families that experienced war or severe hardship learn to never deprive themselves of anything that “could be useful”.
- Cognitive functioning: researchers note deficits in executive functions, such as decision-making difficulties or memory problems. Keeping objects becomes a way to alleviate the fear of forgetting pieces of your life.
The most common mistake that family or friends of a hoarder make is the so-called clean-out forced (clear out and throw away everything in one weekend). For the experts, this approach is devastatingcomparable to the trauma of losing your home in a natural disaster. Those who accumulate do not see objects as simple things, but as parts of themselves.
The treatment of choice is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) adapted for accumulation which includes motivation for change, gradual exposure to “non-acquisition” and decision-making training, restructuring of dysfunctional thoughts and home sessions.
